Woes

   I couldn't stop crying.  Day after day, I found myself binging on ice cream cake and molasses.  "What's it all about?!", I asked out loud.  And looking for answers, I could only turn to the kitchen table.  It did not speak, but its stone-faced rendition of 'John Brown's Body' still haunts me every time I think about it.

   A horse once asked me how I felt about the economy.  I told him, "In the event of a recession, I'm unemployed."  I explained to him that I invested my life savings in a cereal company many years ago, and I'm still waiting to eat my first bowl of Depressing Shreds of Wheat.

   If that weren't enough, it started raining shoes again last night, and they did a number on the windshield of my car.  The forecast for tonight isn't so great either: heavy showers of push pin with a slight chance of bowling ball.  Sometimes, I don't even know why I bother owning an umbrella.