Ten Short Poems About Parsnips

1.  Parsnips gave me eczema.

2.  I can fit this parsnip in my grocery bag.

3.  Are you ready for a lifetime of commitment and parsnips?

4.  Lo, I dreamt about the parsnip again.

5.  Steak and parsnips roast over a rolling fire.

6.  Can I have the rest of your parsnip?

7.  Two parsnips combined their efforts and startled that old woman.

8.  Didja hear the one about the parsnip?  

9.  Look.  A parsnip.

10.  The good lady felt her hand brazenly inching up the nightstand, attempting to quell the tension created by the council of unwelcome guests.  Then she ate a parsnip. 

List of U.S. States in Order of How Much I Like Them (as of 4/12/09)

1. Maine

2. Iowa

3. New York

4. Minnesota

5. North Carolina

6. Rhode Island

7. Vermont

8. Washington

9. Wisconsin

10. Virginia

11. Oregon

12. Montana

13. Nebraska

14. Hawaii

15. Colorado

16. New Mexico

17. Alaska

18. Louisiana

19. Illinois

20. Massachusetts

21. Pennsylvania

22. California

23. New Hampshire

24. Texas

25. Arkansas

26. Kansas

27. Utah

28. Oklahoma

29. Kentucky

30. Maryland

31. Tennessee

32. Wyoming

33. Georgia

34. Arizona

35. Indiana

36. Idaho

37. South Carolina

38. Missouri

39. Connecticut

40. Michigan

41. Mississippi

42. Delaware

43. South Dakota

44. Alabama

45. North Dakota

46. West Virginia

47. Ohio

48. Florida

49. New Jersey

50. Nevada

More Opening Lines to Earth-Shattering Works of Unwritten Fiction

Imagine an airplane shaped like a hot dog.  

The best advice I ever got was to stay away from the Colonel's wife.

Ten forks in the hands of the world's strongest men couldn't lift this meatball.

Training to become a prize-fighter in San Francisco is a lot like taming a lion commissioned to guard the post office.

"Evelyn, we're once again out of walnuts."

Too often, I've missed out on the gifts the traveling circus show has to offer -- a problem which I place blame upon my unique allergy to pretzels.

I jumped out of the bathroom window at the precise moment Roger failed to notice his wife's infidelity.

Claim, like a slug, your right to ooze across the garden path.

A fractured clavicle might have proved a major setback for most mathematicians-come-acrobats, but Wanda Brown has never been one to back down from a challenge.

Sometimes I get tired of one-upping everybody.