Wednesday, April 1, 2009

More Opening Lines to Earth-Shattering Works of Unwritten Fiction

Imagine an airplane shaped like a hot dog.  

The best advice I ever got was to stay away from the Colonel's wife.

Ten forks in the hands of the world's strongest men couldn't lift this meatball.

Training to become a prize-fighter in San Francisco is a lot like taming a lion commissioned to guard the post office.

"Evelyn, we're once again out of walnuts."

Too often, I've missed out on the gifts the traveling circus show has to offer -- a problem which I place blame upon my unique allergy to pretzels.

I jumped out of the bathroom window at the precise moment Roger failed to notice his wife's infidelity.

Claim, like a slug, your right to ooze across the garden path.

A fractured clavicle might have proved a major setback for most mathematicians-come-acrobats, but Wanda Brown has never been one to back down from a challenge.

Sometimes I get tired of one-upping everybody.

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